Today marks my 8 month anniversary from weight loss surgery, often known as surgiversary. Which isn’t really a word, only we made it up, so now it is. 8 months and what a wild and crazy ride it has been so far. I am struggling a bit, these last couple of weeks. And with that comes some very old and nasty demons, trying to make their way to the forefront of my mind. I am working double time to keep them at bay, but it hasn’t been easy.
And before we go any further, as with my 4 months update, there are some graphic images below. I make no apologies. This is my life, my journey, and I’m sharing all of it. Including the absolute mind f%&k that is threatening to derail me. I’m fighting. And scared that it’s a losing battle.
Funny thing is, I’m doing amazingly well on this weight loss – get healthy – journey. The big picture (and all the little ones) looks good; the overall, firmly in hand.
Look at how far I’ve come.
I shouldn’t be focusing on the few failures of the last couple weeks – which really haven’t been fails, just tiny bumps in a really long and difficult (but totally worth it) journey to my better health.
But they are there. Those demons. And I am putting in my … best … no. maybe not my best …
I am recognizing those demons for what they are…
- Eating more than I should.
- Eating things I shouldn’t.
- Lazing out on the working out.
- Justifying other bad behaviors…
…and trying to keep them down.
It’s not easy. And no one has ever said to me, personally, “you took the easy way out”.
Please. If it’s on the tip of your tongue to do so, don’t. Your ignorance is unnecessary and I implore you to do some homework before you judge me or anyone else who has weight loss surgery.
Bottom line, this has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I didn’t have weight loss surgery to lose weight, but to be healthy all over.
Which that? Healthy inside and out, 8 months from weight loss surgery?
Is happening in all sorts of wonderful ways.
- Not diabetic any longer.
- No high blood pressure.
- Or cholesterol. (which never plagued me, anyway)
- I’m absorbing my vitamins properly.
- And I’ve come off or gone down on 4 meds, total.
And then there is the weight loss.
My 8 months from weight loss surgery stats:
May 11, 2016
- SW: 302.6
- Total inches: 301.5
September 10, 2016
- CW: 227.8
- Total inches: 234.25
January 11, 2017
- CW: 198.8
- Total inches: 210
Total loss since surgery?
- 103.8 lbs. GONE FOREVER.
- 91.5 inches GONE FOREVER.
A whopping 123.2 pounds GONE FOREVER since beginning with the weight and wellness program here in Maine.
It’s pretty darn impressive when you see it laid out like that. And with progress pics to go along with?
There is no reason to not be thrilled about it all.
Except for lately. I’m in a funk. I think it started with me getting under 200 and it’s not letting go.
I’m a work in progress, after all.
So yes. I will keep plugging away. I will keep an eye out for the demons. I will continue to do the things I know help me to be healthier.
And when I mess up, I will not beat myself up about it. At least not to the point of going backwards. The days of taking 1 step forward and 3 steps (or 100) back, are over. These days, I am taking each moment as it comes and making the most of it.
And I will lose this funk. Not because I have to. Mostly. But because I want to.
I’m a work in progress, after all.
For your health and mine,
I know it seems like I’m saying all the right things up there. Knowing there is an issue is a huge part of fixing it. But I also know that I could talk until I’m blue in the face, to you and to myself – it doesn’t do me (or you) a bit of good if all it remains is talk. We have to DO. And keeping doing. There may be room for losing small battles, but we cannot fail ourselves, we will win this war, simply because we can. ♥ And darn do deserve to, too. ♥
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